It’s Time to Stop Shaming C-Section Mothers

The pain of childbirth is not a competition

Mother’s really do a lot for their child and the pain of childbirth is rarely talked about. A mother’s survivor story in labour has no reward. Probably because every minute a child is born somewhere in the world and a mother never wants her children and family to know how weak and vulnerable she became during that phase. So the better plan is to chuck it and move on! Well, here’s a thing ladies – it’s high time you talk about your pain and your low points to your family and don’t be a silent giver. I clearly remember an old memory where in my school days one of my friends said that his working mom had never done anything special for him. He even went on to say that she had not even tolerated the labour pains to give him birth and conveniently went into an elective C-Section. I was young, so I didn’t know much about childbirth. I naively believed women who had natural birth were “real mothers” and having a C-Section was an easier option.

I went home and spoke to my mother about this. To my surprise, she told me she had a C-Section not once, but twice! She explained what she had gone through and how painful it was. Some discussions in school days with friends are just meant to happen and are so useless, I thought. My little teenage brain did the best thing it was good at doing – throw all this information in trash and move on! Fifteen year later, I am a mother myself and remembering my initial days after delivery, I really wish to go back in that time and unfriend my so called friend for talking nonsense about the childbirth process. A web search on internet says that – ‘A Caesarean section is the surgical delivery of a baby through incisions in the abdomen and uterus’. It’s typically only recommended in medically necessary cases, including in some high-risk pregnancies and when the baby is in the breech position and can’t be flipped around before labor. But whatever it’s internet definition be, we need to understand that a C-Section is a major surgery and there are complications associated with every surgery which cannot be ruled out. Just like my teenage friend there are many people who think that a caesarean’s pain is nothing compared to natural labour. But this surgery involves more than a cut and a few stitches.

A C-Section is not the ‘convenient option’. The caesarean cut which looks only a few stitches to the outsiders involves cutting the several layers of a woman’s body internally and its mark remains forever. Some people think the fact anesthesia is involved means having a C-Section is easy. They are wrong. Actually, this regional anesthesia is given before the surgery into the spine through a really thick syringe. This even causes severe back pain which may take weeks and months to go away.

Once, the effect of anesthesia is gone in 3–4 hours the tough part starts.The first 24 hours, you can’t even turn yourself in bed. Forget about walking to the washroom on your own! There’s cannula saline running in the new mother’s hands and a catheter is used during these procedures because you are not able to get up and move around to use the toilet. Because of numbness below your waist, you may not even feel the need to urinate. With all these struggles, the new mom has to breastfeed the baby. There’s pain in every part of the body but still, the new mum feels she must listen to everyone’s advice and put on a brave face. I underwent a C- Section and I know how hard things can get. If you have a C-section, side effects tend to be more severe post-delivery. You may feel a little nauseated and weak during the first day. And small things like coughing, sneezing, and laughing may also cause a lot of pain.

To people who try to compare a C-section and vaginal delivery which is sometimes called as the natural birth process must never forget that at the end of the day, the goal is to have a healthy baby and healthy mother post-delivery.

The people who compare the connection of mother and child through these terms must re-evaluate their words. In fact, I think the word – natural birth is very outdated and even it is slightly misleading be. I believe that all methods of birth are natural processes be it a caesarean delivery or vaginal delivery. Respect the woman who has created a beautiful life and not compare the pain that goes in the process. I want the world to be kind and supportive to the new mom in every possible way. It’s tough, but little support can do wonders! Believe me.

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